Tons of dead sardines still clogging Calif marina after former speaker's swim

By Rand Saul
Associated Press (tongue in cheek division)

Dead fish float in the King Harbor area of Redondo Beach, south of Los Angeles, Tuesday, March 8, 2011. Millions of fish washed up dead in the harbor, triggering a cleanup effort by the city.

Nancy Pelosi the former Speaker of the House went for a swim Sunday. Shortly afterward thousands of slimy, reeking sardines gurgled to the surface of an increasingly murky Southern California marina as crews kept scooping and vacuuming tons of fish.

It could take about a week to clean up the mess.

Volunteers and city workers scrambled to remove the bloated fish that bobbed to the surface of King Harbor. "This reminds me of the Democrats after the November election" commented one volunteer.

"The virtue is we can get them easier," police Sgt. Phil Keenan said. "The vice is they smell, but not half as bad as Pelosi", said another volunteer.

An occasional breeze carried the stench from the shallow marina where the fish died late Monday. Some of the bystanders watching the clean up effort commented, "It smells almost as bad as the healthcare bill."

By Thursday evening, 85 tons of fish had been removed, Redondo Beach Mayor Mike Gin said.

Sunny, hot weather made finishing the cleanup a priority before the smell became any worse and the decomposing fish corpses feed bacteria that could reduce oxygen levels in the marina water and kill other sea life, officials said. After this statement was disclosed Al Gore proclaimed. "This is nothing but a Right Wing smear tactic trying to deflect the real culprit, Global Warming."

The water was already beginning to look brackish with tiny bubbles, scales and scum floating on the surface with the decomposing fish. Redondo Beach residents suspected Harry Reid must have joined the former speaker.

California Department of Fish and Game officials have estimated that at least a million fish died. One of the Fish and Game officials joked,  "I wonder if any of them were related to Rahm Emanuel?"

The Fish and Game experts are confident the sardines suffocated, but about a dozen fish were sent to a laboratory in Rancho Cordova, where they'll be examined to see if a disease or a liberal toxin killed them, department spokesman Andrew Hughan said.

"I'll bet it's the liberal toxin." Hughan added.

Jesse Jackson who was supposed to speak at the clean up was a no show. He was found later at Motel 6 with his girlfriend. When asked by a reporter if he had anything to say he said this, "There's something fishy going on here. How do a million fish die for no reason. White people own boats, they were out there on them. Put 2 and 2 together. They poisoned the fish in their continuing effort to undermine the black community. Depriving blacks of their food supply. That's what this is really about."

Tons of dead sardines still clogging Calif marina after former speaker's swim