Last week, Oprah declared that she dreams of O.J. Simpson confessing to her on her newish (and struggling) OWN channel. "I am going to make that happen, people," she said. "I don't just want the interview. I want the interview on the condition that you are ready, Mr. Simpson." Apparently, when you're Oprah, all you have to do is say something, out loud, and it comes true, because Simpson has reportedly agreed to confess to Oprah, according to the National Enquirer. The tabloid reports that Simpson recently fessed up to one of Oprah's producers from prison, where he's currently serving a nine-year sentence for armed robbery, and intends to do the same to Oprah. Simpson reportedly claimed to the producer that while he did kill Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman (mystery solved!) he did it in self-defense. And however full of shit that explanation sounds, is there anyone who wouldn't tune in to watch it.
Believe it or not I didn't add the last sentence.
PS: I thought he was going to say they drowned in the swimming pool.