By Justin “Master Chim” Garcia
1. Accountability
“There is a much stronger case to be made that efforts to help blacks have had more pernicious and lasting effects on black attitudes and habits than either slavery or segregation.” ~Jason L. Riley (Black Guy)
Facts matter and words mean things. The unquenchable need to blame people you don’t know for things you’ve never experienced done by folks who aren’t even alive is, well, irrational. There isn’t a need for blame when it comes to fueling one’s engine for success. Self-sabotage, though? Yeah, we have to beat someone with the blame stick when that happens. Black folks, prepare.
See, what’s always been baffling to me was the complete inconsistent logic used by race baiters and embraced by the black community when it came to “success”. The BC is no stranger when it comes to athletic success and in that realm we see champions of a “no excuses” mindset that all but disappear once the balls get put away. I mean, who remembers my man Mugsy Bogues? That idiot had no idea midgets weren’t supposed to play in the NBA! Or what about the ’66 Miners from Texas Western? Ever hear of them? Yeah, they kind of put all the obstacles and meanies out of sight and focused on what mattered…results.
Today what do you have? Eric Garner is a martyr for your “fight” against brutality? Al Sharpton is your fearless leader? We see criminals defended and looters supported. We see corrupt politician leeches put on pedestals. You want to argue with teachers that hit your kids back, or administrators that don’t have the patience (who can blame them?) to deal with uncivilized children who are being educated FOR FREE by taxpayer dollars. It’s EVERYONE’S fault but yours when your kids don’t know how to operate in society because slavery, right? Others are to blame because your brothers can’t find a job but have IPhones and jewelry because racism, right? Someone has to pay for your lack of maternal preparation because of Jim Crow, right?
STOP IT and GROW UP! Losers lose because they don’t DO what winning requires. In sports, we don’t complain how big the other team is, or how much they keep scoring, or why the refs seem to be against us…IF WE’RE TRYING TO WIN. No, we score, then score some more. That’s it. No mystery, conspiracy, or travesty. Either you do what it takes to win or you lose. If what it takes YOU is more than what it takes THEM, then tough shit. Nobody cares. I did say these steps were simple, didn’t I?
2. Fatherhood.
“One of the greatest gifts my father gave me – unintentionally – was witnessing the courage with which he bore adversity. We had a bit of a rollercoaster life with some really challenging financial periods. He was always unshaken, completely tranquil, the same ebullient, laughing, jovial man” ~Ben Okri (Black Guy)
Fathers are the most important piece of the childhood puzzle missing in the Black Community. They’re the model for masculinity. They’re the earner who provides the slack a mother needs to mother. They’ve always been the champion of a family’s struggle, and the hero of its sons. They show what a man’s supposed to do to daughters. They show what a man’s supposed to be to sons.
Well, in the black community, they show everyone how to disappear, if anything at all. In the BC, if you’re a kid, you’re currently 72% likely to be born to a single mother. Over half of you will be raised by her, with a boyfriend (or girlfriend) here and there in the mix. I’m reminded of a recent visit to the dr.’s office where the receptionist asked who the lady was to my right. I answered “My wife.” She then proceeded to follow up with “Are you legally married?” I laughed and replied affirmatively. She then STILL followed up with “Do you reside at the same address?” I was like “Holy crap? Are you serious?” She said to me, and she was a BLACK nurse, “Well, if I only ask the black families I’ll get in trouble.” WTF?
But back to you, Black Dads…
There was a time when you were in the household MORE than your white counterparts. Yep, and that’s AFTER slavery, btw. What happened? I know, I know. Welfare forced you out, feminism kept you out. Look, you’ll find no adversary on those fronts here, but again, I have to say…Nobody cares.
When there’s a 5 year old black boy with no dad at a little league game, no one cares about how hard it is to be a dad. When the 10 year old boy is struggling to not be victimized in school, no one cares what’s keeping you away from empowering him. When a young lady is having sex at 12 because she has no strong image of what a man is and how he treats a woman, no one cares about your child support struggles.
Magicians make a career out of making something disappear. Why? Because being here and not being here is so different that it should take magic to make it so.
Your child didn’t ask to be here. You brought him. Man up and father him now.
Simple, right?
3. Education.
“The problem isn’t that Johnny can’t read. The problem isn’t even that Johnny can’t think. The problem is that Johnny doesn’t know what thinking is; he confuses it with feeling.” ~Thomas Sowell (Black Guy)
Anyone who knows me knows that I hold the education of our children in the highest regard. A super talented drug addict singer once sung “I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.” This is where education comes in.
Now unbeknownst to so many parents out there, education begins as soon as that baby is out of the womb and into this cold, cruel, beautiful world. Education begins with stories of pride, exposure to character, and the warmth of one’s loved ones. Education begins with the reassuring embrace of a loving mother. The delightfully fulfilled gaze of a father. Even the laughter shared amongst friends. But it continues…
The world is a map only navigated by a vision tempered in reality. We do not get through, by, nor over obstacles in this life by finding the feelgood. We don’t put food in the fridge or gas in the car by making the goosebumps rise or the butterflies flutter. We can only navigate the map. The map has paths that have been used by others that are safe and fruitful, just as it has those that have led to others’ demise. The beauty is that these maps are available. The challenge is that kids can’t read them. That’s where it truly takes a village, but you get to get them started.
Eventually, many of you will forge some sort of relationship with some government sponsored “school”, but whatever they try to sell you, don’t you dare think that building of strangers is responsible for your child’s “education”. On the contrary, you’ll find them undermining your authority and “discovering” new reasons why your child can’t succeed at every pass. Nobody cares. Don’t trust them. Certainly don’t believe them. Your child’s education is YOUR privilege. Nobody can rob you of that gift and don’t you ever think otherwise.
Keeping it simple.
4. Ritual.
“When a tradition gathers enough strength to go on for centuries, you don’t just turn it off one day.” ~Chinua Achebe (Black Guy)
Links on a chain. We’re all just links on a chain. There was a time when we all knew that. Whether it was the dance “of your people” or the phrase the old folks use to say, we all have, at the very least, clues and remnants of where we came.
Before technology and the distraction of an overzealous government, we practiced being “us” together. We’d sing, dance, pray, eat, and share together in the fashion and manner which we were shown. We were shown by a compassionate grandparent or elder. We would, in turn, pass down these customs and traditions to the next genera…link in the same manner. This connected us to more, fueled a pride for accomplishments done by other links, but it made sure of one incredibly important thing. It showed, no, proved we weren’t alone in this. There were others like us who faced the very things in front of us…and they crushed it. They conquered all would be saboteurs. The land, money, weather, disease, war… Nope. None of those things could prevent the chain from reaching you.
Make sure none of you forget it.
5. Tribe.
“In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.” ~Alex Haley (Black Guy)
You can NOT do this alone. The government is NOT designed to help you. Those who don’t look like you and aren’t from the places you are simply do NOT know how to help, despite some of their best elitist intentions.
You need your people. People need people. YOUR people represent the best of you. From your history, to your identity, to your customs and traditions, we’re stronger when surrounded by our loved ones in any situation. The most dire of them tend to benefit the most from the safety net of our tribe.
Like strands on a spider’s web, the more connections it has, the stronger a tribe will be. From the celebration of new life, to the reverence shown to its elders, your tribe can provide a powerful synergy the black community has missed for some time now. Abandoned? Had stolen? Again, nobody cares.
Get results. The kind of simple results only to be found in tribe.
“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” ~George Washington Carver (yeah, you guessed it…black guy.)
So what’ll it be? A new direction or just some more hate mail in my spam folder? I would hope that some in the black community will listen to this half-Puerto Rican, quarter Irish, quarter Italian, full blooded American, but I know better.
Hope is not a plan and, after all, nobody cares.
