Quick... someone get her a vibrator!

GWYNETH PALTROW DAZED BY OBAMA: 'YOU'RE SO HANDSOME THAT I CAN'T SPEAK PROPERLY'

 Gwyneth and Barry are on the same wave length. This is the same b**ch who referred to her impending divorce as a "conscious uncoupling" which dovetails perfectly with how an act of terror becomes "workplace violence" emanating from the ScandalDome. 

You see…you really can put lipstick on a pig.

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On Thursday, Oscar winning Actress Gwyneth Paltrow concluded her introductory remarks about President Obama at a star studded fundraiser held in the backyard of her upscale Brentwood home in Los Angeles, saying that she was turning the microphone over to him because "you're so handsome that I can't speak properly."

Paltrow's adoration of the President was palpable, according to a press pool report. She told Obama that "I am one of your biggest fans, if not the biggest… It would be wonderful if we were able to give this man all of the power that he needs to pass the things that he needs to pass" she said.

(Not to worry Gwyneth Hugo will be delivering his Declaration of Amnesty decree right after the election)

Democratic National Committee officials affirmed that there were 200 supporters at the reception and 50 supporters attending the dinner. Tickets for the reception started at $1,000, dinner started at $15,000. Julia Roberts, Bradley Whitford, and Paltrow's two children, Apple and Moses, were present at the event.

Paltrow cited that sustainable energy efforts, as well as Obama's push for equal pay, were very important to her as a working mother.

Obama gave much of his standard fundraiser speech – "tumult" overseas that includes ISIS, Russia, and Ebola, about which he said, "I want to assure everybody that the likelihood of an epidemic here in the United States is extraordinarily small, but there's a humanitarian crisis that's happening right now in West Africa where children not much older, and in some cases younger than, Apple and Moses are dying on the streets alone."

Obama boasted of 55 months of uninterrupted job growth, investments in energy, the success of Obamacare – "and yet people remain anxious."

The President asserted that, "Most of the gains in our economy go to the folks who are in this lovely yard—and the average person has not seen their wages or incomes go up in the last 20 years."

He said that Democrats have a "congenital disease": 

"A, we get depressed too easily, and B, we're terrible at paying attention to midterm elections."

He forgot C, you have an asshole for a president.

Quick... someone get her a vibrator!